Tempest of a Lost Girl
by SoulOfMine
Summary: As Emma settles into Storybrooke she discovers that escaping her past is much more difficult when she's left standing still. The battle for a son she didn't know could love her, and the sanity that has so easily escaped her reaches a breaking point, and Emma finds help in the one person she thought she was fighting against. Warnings for child abuse and rape in flashback. SwanQueen.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N I don't have any rights to these characters (obviously). Also, warning for darker(ish) fic, with mentions of abuse and such, so please don't read if that triggers you and what-not._

* * *

Emma sat on her park bench, staring out into the depth of the water, breathing in and out rapidly as she tried to calm her heart beat to the sound of the waves crashing against the edge of the docks. This was her place to think.

How could she be here, in this godforsaken town with its godforsaken people and this bloody fucking weather that wouldn't let up so she could pull herself together and out of the dreary mess she kept finding herself in for one fucking second! It wasn't like her to wallow this way, for something to pull her down like this and destroy what little happiness she had gathered.

As the sun began to set behind dark clouds, Emma was unable to sit still any longer, and slowly she stepped forward. Instead allowing the wind to push her even closer to the water, sending shivers down her spine. Her red jacket did little to protect her from the chill that was seeping both out of and into her skin. Bringing her hand up running it through her hair, revelling in the way it grounded her, allowing her to order her thoughts without having to address them.

Breathing deeply Emma was about to turn and walk back to the loft when a loud crash of thunder broke into her mind as she gasped unaware of the sudden onset of rain seeping into her clothes and skin.

 _Instead she was 8 years old, pressed back against a cool wall, with her hands covering her face in the only form of protection she had learned. A rough grip was circling her forearms digging into her like sand paper and dragging her away, before clumsily throwing her off balance causing her to fall sideways. Her arms had slipped down from her face in an attempt to protect herself from hitting the ground. She was aware of a deep voice incoherently mumbling drunken words of anger before she was being flung into a mirror with the loudest crash she had ever heard. Warmth was trailing down her back in streams as glass mixed with flesh, and she curled her small frame into a ball to finally be left there on the floor. Yet instead she felt feet kicking into her sides and -_

Emma's eyes flew open as a hand wrested on her shoulder. It took her moments to realize she was drenched, though it didn't seem to be raining much any longer, and that her hands were up around her face the warmth there signalling that she had been crying.

"Emma?"

The concern with which her name had fell from those lips was almost to much and Emma pulled away before vigorously rubbing her eyes in an attempt to rid them of the liquid pain she was certain had been coating her face. Turning around with as much cockiness as she could muster Emma attempted a smile that she knew was more of a grimace before muttering, "Madame Mayor" it coming out a little quieter than she had hoped.

"Can I help you?" She attempted to continue, but she was to exhausted for this, the teasing and bickering which was expected from these encounters.

"Would you like to enlighten me as to why you are out here?" The Mayor spoke unable to hide the concern she felt for this women that had turned her entire life upside down. "I would think that after you worked so hard to become sheriff of our little town you would do better to complete your duties" She tried to continue, as if this was the only reason she had spent the past two hours searching in the pouring rain, after attempting to call her god knows how many times.

"You know me Regina, never doing anything, just sitting on my ass all day" It took all of the energy Emma had to just utter the words let alone add any vigour behind them. She knew right away it lacked all of the anger she had been trying to convey, coming out as a plea, begging the Mayor to instead just leave her alone.

"Come on Emma, talk to me…"

Before Emma was able to analyze the sincerity in the women's words another crash of thunder brought her again back into her mind.

 _She was watching as a vehicle slammed into the side of her car, the screech of metal against metal over powering anything else but the eyes of the girl she loved staring at her in horror before fluttering with pain and closing forever. Her hands unable to move, to change their course as metal scraped concrete and the vehicle flipped over and over jostling her spine and logging a piece of metal into her thigh sending waves of pain that caused her body to shake un-controllably. The vehicle finally coming to a stop with four wheels off of the ground, she tore off her seatbelt, reaching for Lily, shaking her. Tears were streaming down her face and she was screaming when a light shone through the passenger window, a crash as the glass broke and they were dragging her away. Taking her away._

"EMMA! Look at me!" Regina had been trying to catch Emma's blank gaze for what felt like eternity. So when she could tell Emma was all there Regina didn't know what to do, what to say.

"Are you okay? Emma what is wrong?" The Mayor had placed a hand on either of her forearms in an attempt to shake her out of whatever trance she had fallen into, but now that Emma was coherent she had no idea where to place her hands, deciding to leave them where they were, stroking her thumbs up and down in hopes of offering reassurances.

"I'm guessing saying I'm fine isn't going to go to well right now huh?" Emma mumbled, looking anywhere but into the deep brown that was trying to read her every movement. Realizing abruptly that she was freezing, her body finally gave in and began to shake uncontrollably, soon she was shivering with teeth clacking.

"D-do ya think you could intero-g-gate me someplace w-warmer Reg-g-ina?" Emma tried to get out before dizziness over came her and she instead found herself with her back against one of the park benches looking into deeply worried eyes.

"Can you walk?" Regina asked realizing that Emma wasn't going anywhere without her help.

"I don't think I could carry you, though I'll damn sure try" was the last thing Emma heard before she was enveloped into the darkness of her past.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N In answer to your question this is set before the curse is broken, somewhere after Emma became the Sheriff. Also, I might not update quite as often as this; however, the story is stuck in my brain so I'm sure it will be begging to come out as rapidly as possible._

Emma awoke to warmth flooding her senses, though her body was still trembling as if she were sitting in a torrential downpour, everything instead felt as if she were on fire. The heat was to much and she began to push on what she thought were blankets crushing her body with a mumbled "to hot". She quickly became aware that what was atop of her was less of a blanket and more of a body.

"What the hell?" Emma became fully coherent and fully panicked in a moment before pushing up on the body and sliding herself out from underneath it, miraculously not waking them in the process. A small groan escaping her mouth as she plummeted to a rough carpeted surface, opening her eyes to find herself face to face with a seat in what felt like a very cramped car.

Trying to manoeuvre herself as to see whom had been using her as a bed, she was instead distracted by her current position; she was trapped between the front seat and the backseat with her butt on the floor and her legs bent, feet against the car door. This would definitely be considered one of the weirdest places she had woken up in, in quite some time. Though she did feel dizzy and tired, she didn't feel hungover. It took little focus for Emma to remember the night before, which came back in flashes of thunder and furrowed brown eyes.

 _Well shit_ was the only thing that rang through her mind as she turned coming face to face with brown hair that tickled her cheeks as soft breathes escaped a women who had never looked less intimidating.

"Regina" Emma breathed in a hushed tone, half of her wishing to just scamper off without waking the woman, and the other too embarrassed to chance waking her if she attempted to remove herself from her current position.

The decision was soon made for her as a sneeze that choked out of her entire frame echoed in the small space, and Regina startled awake sitting up rapidly and staring down into emerald eyes.

"Hi" Emma said, before grinning sheepishly and pulling her legs out from beneath Regina's bare toes. _Okay so the mayor is barefoot now, what the hell is happening._

Regina just gawked at the sight of Emma trapped in the back seat of her car, sitting at her feet with a crooked grin.

"The storm was unsafe" Regina sputtered defensively before slowing her frantic movements and pulling her pumps on as regally as she could.

"What?" Was all Emma could get out before the car door was opening sending cool air into the previously quite cozy vehicle, and Emma shuttered in what she now realized were damp clothing, before sitting up, and following the only woman in the world who could pull off soddened, slept in clothes and frizzy matted hair. They were illuminated by a near by street lamp as Emma took in the close by silhouette of her favourite bench and the docks, only able to see so far as it was still dark outside. Quickly noting that the storm must have passed, before words were drawing her attention back to Regina, who for the first time seemed almost small to Emma.

"The storm, it was so windy and I.. well it had started raining to hard to transport you any further. I must have fallen asleep when I was…well when I was trying to keep you warm" Regina replied in a quiet voice as she attempted to smooth her wrinkle covered power suit with little success.

"Transport and warm…? Oh, well uh, thanks, I guess…" Emma stuttered as she recalled the promise made before she had passed out. It was hard to think with her head spinning so much and her body felt shaky. She steadied herself on the trunk of the car leaning against it, wrapping her arms around her stomach in an attempt to keep in as much heat as possible, though the chill in the air had already broke through her damp clothing.

"You look awful Miss Swan" Regina responded crisply before opening the door to her passenger side and moving around her Benz to get in her own side. Looking expectantly at the figure lounging against her car and waving her hand, "Well are you going to get in?" she questioned. The usual tone breaking through the unusual situation making Emma just comfortable enough to reach for the top of the door, while muttering under her breath about prissy control freaks, and other things Regina pretended not to here as they both seated themselves in the car. Regina cranking the heat on high.

The sudden warmth was heaven to Emma and she allowed her aching body to relax into the comfortable seat, hardly paying attention to the stiff figure beside her, exhaustion taking over her dizzy mind that was soon setting her into a restless sleep, but not before a "Thanks Regina" had escaped her mouth.

 _Then she was screaming. His face was on top of her, breathing in all of her air and it felt as if her lungs were being crushed under his stench. His right hand was pushing down on her wind pipe, his elbow digging painfully into her ribcage as he played with her long blonde hair. "Where the hell do you think you are going?" He spit into her face. Emma was flailing now, begging and pleading for freedom, in what came out as choked gasps and vibrations that made his hold on her neck tighten. "I own you!" He spat before lifting her off the ground and slamming her back down, her head ricocheting off of the wood floor causing even further dizziness -_

"Emma it's okay" broke through her memory before she was dragged back down into darkness.

 _"You think you can do whatever you fucking want?" Emma knew how to end this, she knew if she stilled he would stop but she couldn't bring herself to give in, she couldn't let him win. Instead thrashing harder and begging whoever would listen to stop this, to make everything just stop. His grip was to tight and the inability to get air stole her fight, her body going limp though her mind continued to scream._

Emma was surprised when she awoke to a bright light instead of darkness and a warmth that seemed oddly familiar. Looking from side to side the panic slowly subsided. Emma was trying not to shake her head, as everything was still spinning, she took in the pristine condition of the room and knew immediately that this was the Mayoral Mansion. Propping her self up from the couch she noticed she was covered with a blanket.

"Miss Swan" A voice from the kitchen door spoke, and Emma was surprised to find that Regina had yet to change out of her clothes.

Wide eyed Emma realized how odd this was in her equally unruly present state. Tears were dried on her cheeks, eyes red and puffy. Stripped of her leather jacket, Emma felt naked in her white tank, worrying for a moment about the state of the couch as her jeans were still quite wet.

"I'm so sorry Regina" She spoke quickly before thrusting her body forward onto her feet, letting the blanket fall to the floor before tripping, both due to her clumsiness and current fever, landing hard against the immaculate floors. _Very smooth Swan -_ her thoughts were broken for a third time by soft hand on her shoulders.

"Emma are you alright?" Regina couldn't help but lean down, searching the broken women's eyes. She had seen the pain in them multiple times now, the utter horror and emotionless fear she had only ever seen in the mirror reflected there and she knew that there was something about Emma that was different. Somehow it didn't matter who she was or that her mere presence was tearing a part the world Regina had built. It just mattered that she was okay. "Are you hurt?" She continued before checking Emma for injuries.

Emma was dumb founded, who was this women, this gentle caring women, and why did she look like the queen of sass herself. Emma's breath caught and she flinched as fingers moved against her upper back and shoulder blades, igniting the ragged scars lining her skin with streaks of pain. She felt the slicing of the glass and heard the crash as the mirror shattered, her body involuntary moved away from the touch that had been soothing her moments ago.

"Emma" Regina all but whispered, deciding not to dig further into whatever was plaguing the younger women's thoughts.

There was that voice again, and Emma realized that she had never heard her name spoken with so much care.

"May I help you to the couch?" Regina asked, concluding that for the moment perhaps forcing the blonde to move would probably result in even less progress, the stubborn idiot she was.

"Why?" Emma huffed before looking away, aware of how pathetic she was in this moment. A mess sprawled across Regina's floor. REGINA'S FLOOR. The most put together human on the face of the earth, the person who had cared for and loved her child when she couldn't, the mayor of the entire fucking town, and she was asking to help her.

"Oh shut up, and get up" Regina spat back, deciding that if she was going to help the blonde get over, whatever it was she needed help getting over, codling her didn't appear to be the best method.

"You are going to change out of those awful clothes, possibly take a shower if you can manage that, and then you are going to tell me what on earth is going on" Regina instructed.

The harsh tone of Regina's voice sent Emma immediately into action but the soft hand helping her to her feet and guiding her by the small of her back up the stairs and into the most beautiful bathroom she had ever seen told her more then words ever could.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N Oops, I may have gotten busy…BUT here is an update! I am sorry it is so short…*runs and hides behind tree*_

Emma's body shuddered as she regained consciousness, though she was not in any way uncomfortable. In fact, she had never felt more comfortable in her life. Wrapped in layers of silk, borrowed deep in the warmth of a bed, tangled in a mass of comforter, body, hair and pillows, she could almost feel okay like this. With the light peeking in, making the inside of her eye lids glow, it was like nothing could go wrong. Perhaps the feeling that contentment was a possibility, was why she also felt so uncomfortable. This wasn't normal, and it sure as hell wasn't going to last.

It was a simple, and quick decision for Emma to extract herself from the bed in hopes of rushing out the door with as little communication as possible with her host. The horrible state Regina had seen her in was seeping into her skin, making her shift uncomfortably, feeling as if she was a child again, lacking any control over her body and mind.

But, as the bare tips of her toes touched the cold wooden floor of the Mayor's guest bedroom, Emma was instead shocked to see a slumped and very disheveled Regina asleep on the chair sitting next to the bed. In a moment of panic Emma hardly glanced back before she padded her way to the door, pausing only for a moment to study the Mayor. She slipped into the hallway, tiptoeing the rest of the way to the door, only pausing to grab her jacket, carelessly draped across a chair on her way.

Passing through the gate in the early morning sun, dressed in silk pyjamas and her leather armour, Emma had little control of where her body was leading her. Instead retreating back into her mind. Replaying over and over the sound of thunder and waves, and the distant echo of her name dropping from those lips in a way she had never heard or imagined.

Regina awoke in an empty room. First it was panic that overtook her system and she jolted up, fearing that perhaps Emma had passed out on her way to the washroom or collapsed in the night. It took simply a moment for her to realize that the Sheriff was doing the only thing she knew how to do, she was running. The realization that Swan could not even thank her before disappearing sent jolts of anger through her, and they slipped between the worry she was not willing to admit to, causing an uncomfortable, and sizzling anxiety that her morning rituals could not shake.

It took the Mayor less than 30 minutes of trying to distract herself, with no work to preoccupy her and nowhere she needed to be on a Saturday morning, before the not knowing was to much and she picked up her phone hitting Sheriff Swan; her mind to slow to catch up with her fingertips.

No answer. She tried again, and this time the call went straight to voicemail.

Regina was seething. How dare that idiot ignore her, the mayor of Storybrooke, the person who saved her from catching a deathly illness. She made the decision that if she wasn't going to have the peaceful Saturday she should, then neither was the Sheriff. She was out the door in a matter of minutes, throwing her trench over her shoulders and delicately grabbing her keys before aggressively shoving them into the ignition and tearing down the street.

Regina had kept track of the officer's whereabouts often enough to know she was in one of three places; the dinner, the loft or the docks. It didn't take a profound amount of thought to know which location she would find the moron at 8am on a Saturday.

Regina slammed into the diner, heels clacking against the tile, head held high in the air. But her eyes were searching every, table and booth for those long golden strands.

It wasn't till she noticed Henry's mop of brown curls barreling towards her that her anger dissipated to a manageable level. But his quieting effect on her was short lived when she looked down with open arms to catch him in a hug, and she remembered that he hated her now.

Pressing her right hand against her stomach she continued to regulate her breathing, though it failed to calm the ache in her chest as he skidded to a stop just short of her outreached hand and looked up with defiance and accusation.

"What did you do with Emma!?" It came out so harshly that Regina took a step back before staring down at him once more.

"What are you talking about Henry?" She tried to sooth him, but with little success as he cocked his head to the side, and narrowed his eyes.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, and don't pretend you don't" He met her eyes, and spoke with a no nonsense tone that she used to use on him. "I know that you know where she is, Mom" He paused when he realized what he said, before clarifying, "I know that you know where MY Mom is" he finished waiting for her response as if he had caught her in some heinous act.

"Actually I don't Henry" She responded with such honesty and defeat that Henry looked around almost in panic.

"But then, where is she?" He asked, borrowing into Regina with his sad hazel eyes and Regina could tell that he was asking her if Emma had left him, again.

"Henry" she said quietly, simply trying to get him to look at her now, and when his eyes met hers and his panic subsided just a small amount she couldn't hold back a sad smile. "I'll find her" She finished.

And it was enough. He nodded, and turned, climbing up on his stool and gripping his hot chocolate in his hands tightly before bowing his head.

Regina looked around, realizing that there were other people in the dinner who witnessed their impromptu stand off. Though, no one seemed to be paying attention at all, or anymore. Realizing that this was obviously not where the idiot had come Regina spun around the bell on the door ringing loudly as she let the it crash back into its place on her way to her Benz.

If that woman thought she could just abandon her son, and leave her after everything that had happened she had another thing coming.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma jumped at the sound of a car door slamming, her hands immediately moving up and around her head for protection; her thoughts spinning chaotically behind her eyelids. She knew she needed to calm her breathing, but there was just to much. It had been building and building and now it just wouldn't settle.

"What the hell are you doing out here, again!?"

The voice was hard and Emma couldn't respond, she couldn't tell where she was or who was yelling at her this time. Her whole body tensed in waiting, her fingers curling into fists, spine rigid. She jumped when a warm presence sat down beside her.

"What is it about this spot Ms Swan?" Regina's voice was no more then a whisper and after the first syllable Emma's entire body had relaxed her fists dropping nearly instantly.

"Do you enjoy freezing to death? Or is it the smell that you like so much?" Regina continued, adding in her usual venom, and Emma couldn't help but to laugh. It came out softly but with an edge to it, because Regina being here again, it was insane. Emma was, sitting in Regina's pyjamas with no recollection of how she got in them, and Regina herself was acting like everything was normal. The mixture of emotions Emma felt bobbling in every corner of her flesh had no outlet for expression, instead coming out through exasperated laughter

"Emma are you still with me" Regina's tone had flipped again, and she was reaching for Emma's shoulders turning her body towards her.

"Emma" Regina was calling to her but Emma could tell she was drifting as her laugh died in her throat and shifted to a soft whimpering

* * *

 _"Shhhh… don't move" there was a body pressed tightly to her side, and a small arm wrapped around her even smaller frame. The tiny fingers ending at her cheek, the palm of a hand pressed around her mouth to hush her soft whimpers._

 _There was a crash before the clumping of boots echoed up the stairs and into their shared bedroom. Emma and Ella were curled under one of the two beds in the room that they shared with two older boys. Five year old Emma's tiny frame shook against Ella's, who was a year older. The two bodies only fitting under the small bed frame out of sheer will and the fact that neither were as big as a child their age should have been._

 _"Please Emma, shhh" Ella whispered softly gripping Emma even tighter as the footsteps grew deafening and both girls began to tremble as dirty treads passed through the threshold of the door._

 _But Emma couldn't stop the noises from escaping her mouth, Mr Jenkins didn't come upstairs unless he was angry, sometimes he would just yell at them until there pitiful sniffles became too irritating and then he would lock them in for a day or two until his wife noticed and let them out. That Emma could deal with, especially if she had Ella to talk to and play with quietly because it passed the time and helped her ignore her rumbling stomach, but this time, she didn't think she would be so lucky._

 _The boots slammed directly to the bed and before either Emma or Ella could react there was a hand reaching and grabbing the arm that wasn't wrapped around Emma, and rough hands were dragging Ella out from under the bed. Emma froze for only a fraction of a second before she was crawling out from under the bed and standing as tall as she could._

 _"Please no!" Ella was already crying from the tight grip on her upper arms, the tall man pressing his fingers into the bruises that had yet to heal from a few days before._

 _"STOP" Emma screamed as loud as she could throwing her fist in the air and beating them as hard as she could against the man's leg. "Put her down!" She continued, tiny trails of tears had slipped past her defences and were hanging onto her chin as she thrust her whole body at the man._

 _It took him only a moment to drop Ella, paying no mind to the bang of tiny knees hitting hardwood floor before slapping Emma hard across the face drawing blood from her upper lip, then grabbing her wrist and pulling her through the doorway, revelling in the smack of her side as it slammed into the frame on his way._

 _He didn't even say anything, his rage didn't need explanation and Emma was at his mercy as he swung her whole body around, and meaning to or not as he let go of her bruised wrists she teetered at the edge of the stair railing before tumbling head first into the top step her body bouncing hard against each one on the way down. The only sound left was Ella's soft cry of her name._

* * *

"Where are you Emma?" Regina mumbled softly, though Emma could not hear her. She had moved closer when Emma had started trembling, and when she noticed the trails of tears that were clinging to the whimpering woman's jaw she had wrapped a single arm around her rubbing her arm ever so slightly. Emma had responded almost immediately, her body becoming smaller then Regina had thought possible as she curled herself against Regina's overly tensed frame.

Flashes of the night before permeated through Regina's thoughts. Finding Emma in the pouring rain, staring out as lightning and thunder crashed around her. Having to drag Emma's almost unresponsive body into her car and again later into the guest room after finding her sitting on the bathroom floor head curled against her knees. Hearing her scream at what she had thought were fever dreams, tormenting her thoughts throughout the night. She had imagined that after Emma's fever broke the delirium would have subsided, and everything would go back to normal but Regina recognized as Emma's subconscious continued to torment her, that this was something much deeper.

She was shaken from her thoughts, realizing that Emma's body was no longer trembling and there was no longer the soft sound of her whimpers in the cold morning air. She tightened her grip around the younger woman for only a moment before pulling away as little as possible so Emma could sit up and gather herself.

Emma didn't know what to think, opening her eyes to find the soft warmth of Regina enclosed around her. Why was Regina helping her all the sudden? Emma was so confused, this Regina was so different from the one who threw around threats and bickered constantly.

"I'm really sorry" Emma sputtered, wiping at her cheeks roughly once the safety of Regina's cocoon had pulled away leaving a chill that penetrated deep into her bones.

"You never answered me" Regina spoke with only an edge of her usually tone, as if the entire moment had never happened, her hands perfectly placed on her now wrinkled suit pants and Emma's shoulders relaxed ever so slightly as she realized she wouldn't have to recount her relived experience.

"Answered you what?" Emma responded, as she finished rubbing away the tracks that had been carved into her cheeks.

"What is it about this particular spot?" Regina questioned, now a little softer in her response.

"Honestly, I have no idea" Emma finished before running her hand through her hair, and lifting her chin to stare out into the endless expanse of water.

She tilted her head to the side before dropping her hand and mumbling out uncomprehendingly, "I'm not trapped when I'm here" she turned towards the town, feeling Regina's eye borrowing into her as she spoke "Everything..it's so small, and enclosed. Sometimes I just need to see that there is somewhere bigger, that I could go and not be stuck" her voice drowned out at the end and Regina barely caught the last of her sentence.

Regina nodded, slipping into her thoughts. What was she doing comforting the Saviour? She shouldn't feel for the daughter of her enemies. Yet as she studied the darkness under Emma's eyelids, and the slouch in the woman who had held her own against the Evil Queen, Regina could see the torment that Emma was dealing with. Flooding her mind with images of a brown haired girl hiding in the stables, and a grown woman hiding from her husband. Shaking her head softly, Regina stood abruptly and she made a decision, whether she was aware of it or not, to help Emma.

"Where are you-" Emma's sentenced died in her throat as she realized that the Mayor had no reason to be here in the first place, mentally kicking herself at her stupidity. She was an adult, she didn't need Regina to babysit her.

" _We,_ are going to the diner to see _our_ son" Regina stated before looking down at Emma expectantly "I don't know if you have any coherent thoughts in that mess you call a brain, but our son is 10 years old, and smart enough to know that when someone doesn't come home, there is reason to be concerned"

"Now" Regina stated impatiently, when she noticed Emma seemed to be stuck to the bench, "Before he sicks the dwarves on us" she mumbled as she continued towards her car without glancing back.

"Dwarves?" Emma questioned, her face and eyebrows furrowing in surprise at the Mayor's orders, yet following behind her obediently.


	5. Chapter 5

During the ride to the loft Emma was quiet, not because she felt uncomfortable, but simply because there was nothing to be said. She felt as if everything was behind glass, muffled and unsure. Everything she knew seemed to be in upheaval. Her past was stalking her at every turn preying on every sound and colour, and then there was Regina. The women who had tried to run her out of town was now helping her, clothing her, and taking care of her? She needed to know _why?_

Regina pulled up to the building and it took only minutes for Emma to pull on a sweater and a pair of jeans. Despite the warmth of the car on the ride over Emma still felt a chill lingering, so shoving the silk pjs into her drawer as not to be disturbed by Mary Margret, she pulled on a hat for good measure and barrelled out the door as quickly as she could even in her exhausted state, certain that Regina would not take kindly to being left waiting.

As she slid back into the passenger side Regina gave her a once over before a small scuff of laughter escaped her lips and she took off down the street.

"What?" Emma questioned exasperatedly. "We can't all look like…well like that!" she continued and quirked her lips at the lack of retort, shrugging before turning and staring straight ahead.

They both exited the car and fell into place side by side on the walkway, and just as they were coming up the steps into Granny's Regina turned towards Emma and whispered a soft "The hat is a bit much", but before Emma could retort there was a flash of grey and red and a body was clinging around her legs.

As Emma reached an arm around Henry she looked to Regina in time to see her face fall and then flip back as if the turmoil hidden just behind the tension in her jaw was a figment of Emma's imagination. Emma wanted to ask Regina about it, but before she could mumble any form of incoherent sentence Henry was coming up for air with questions that Emma wasn't even sure she could answer if she wanted to, and the look on his face reminded her of a someone who could make her feel reprimanded with the twitch of an eyebrow.

"Where were you? Why weren't you anywhere? Ms. Blanchard said that you were supposed to be home last night but you didn't show up. And she got that weird crinkly thing around her nose that Mom sometimes gets, and there was lots of thunder before and when I called the station from Nicholas' house Graham said that you weren't even working and I even called again this morning" Henry finished with a tilt of his head and took a step back before looking back at Regina, proceeding to ignore her presence entirely.

He paused long enough for Emma to stutter softly and look to Regina before he continued with a very pointed "Well?"

"Henry, maybe we need some hot chocolate to warm us up while Miss Swan answers your questions" Regina instructed glancing in the direction of the counter before walking to the booth in the corner and taking off her coat.

Henry tilted his head at Emma before proceeding to the counter with dragging feet as Emma followed Regina to the table, lost to what was happening around her.

"I can't — I don't…He has too many questions that I don't know how to answer" Emma stared at her red blotchy hands before wrapping them together and laying them on her knees. "I know that he wants me, but he deserves better. He deserves you" Emma continued still without glancing at Regina. "It isn't fair to either of you, I shouldn't be here and he shouldn't treat you like that —"

"Emma" Regina said as a conclusion to every sentence Emma had ever even attempted to speak.

And Emma looked into eyes that held so many things and wanted to ask so many questions. She wanted to know why Regina was even sitting in the same room as her, why Regina hadn't run her out of town in any number of ways she was sure that the Mayor was capable of. Why was she letting all of this happen?

Henry placed a coffee in front of Regina and a cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon in front of Emma before sliding in beside her with his own, avoiding all eye contact with his mother seated across from them.

"So?" He broke the silence, and looked directly at Emma.

"Emma is going to be staying with me for a few days" Regina stated, receiving two head turns and bulging eyes.

"I am?"

"She is?"

Looking between the two Regina could see the resemblance, in the eyes and mouth, in the way the confusion bled through their shoulders and forced their eyebrows together.

"Wait, you said with 'me', so then, where am I staying?" Henry questioned in both confusion and excitement, though it slowly contorted back into an even deeper confusion, "Why?" And he was accusing her again, gauging her every movement as if the answer was hidden in the tilt of her chin and the shadows that lingered beneath her eyes.

"You will be staying with Kathryn for a few days. I already called her and she said she would be delighted." Regina concluded, but with a grimace from Henry she continued questioningly

"You've stayed there before when I've been away on business?"

"You weren't holding Emma hostage then" was his only response.

Emma felt caught in the crossfire as she tried to negotiate between Regina's proposition, and the response Henry seemed to be having. Based on the past evenings events, Regina was not an awful person, which meant Henry had no business talking back to his mom that way. She understood that he was angry, but he had someone who loved him. Who chose him, and took care of him his whole life. He just didn't see it yet. He couldn't see how much Regina truly did care for him beneath the pressed suits, and cold demanding demeanor.

"Henry stop" Emma spoke before she was able to finish her contemplation of what was unraveling. She needed to make a decision now, she either needed to tell Regina that staying at the Mansion wasn't gonna happen, or find a way to convince Henry this was what was best. That his mom was giving Emma, her best chance.

"Henry I…I don't think that, um - "

"Miss Swan, will you be staying with me or not?" Regina cut in swiftly.

This was insane, but Emma could see the challenge in the statement, backing into old battles. How did they get here from arguing over paperwork and budgets for the department, and despite the insanity poking at Emma she knew that Regina could help, or was helping. As much as she hated the thought, maybe she deserved to have someone for once, even if it was the woman who should, and probably did, hate her.

"Ya, I guess I will" Emma looked from Henry to Regina, both eyeing her with a mixture of doubt, and fear, and Emma couldn't help herself from wanting to know what Regina could possibly be afraid of.

"Why would you do that though? Emma she is _EVIL_ " Henry looked so confused and unhappy that Emma wanted to do anything to make him feel better and looking up towards Regina she could tell that she felt the same way.

"How about this Henry, as long as your mom isn't busy you can come for supper every day I'm with her. That way you can see that everything is okay?"

Regina looked to Emma and despite her unmoving features Emma could tell that she approved.

"Fine" Henry conceded, the harsh attitude slipping from his features as he turned his face down to his hot chocolate. Soon he began swinging his feet on the tall bench, bumping them against Regina and Emma softly, back and forth as he slurped his whipped cream.

Slouching off the bench and making his way towards the door with his moms on either side of him, he seemed less upset, and as the door clanged shut and they made their way to Regina's dark car Henry turned to her and closed the conversation with, "But tomorrow we are having PIZZA!" before hoping into the back seat and slamming the door shut behind him leaving no room for protest.

* * *

 _A/N I just wanted to apologize for being MIA for so long. I'm in University, and as much as I love writing this story, there are only so many hours in a day, and so many days in a week. But I thank you unreservedly for reading despite my inability to stably supply you with words!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N. This is just a reminder for anyone who might need it that this story could be triggering, in this chapter and many of the previous chapters. I just don't want anyone to be caught by surprise is all. Anywhos, this one is a longer one so happy reading lovelies!_

* * *

The house seemed so much bigger without Henry in it, to both women. Entering without Henry's constant presence, even up in his room, started to make Regina even more nervous about what she was trying to do.

Emma on the other hand was even more uncomfortable, she had hardly been in the white mansion twice, let alone had she actually been invited in for a purpose that didn't directly involve their shared son. She could tell that neither of them were sure how to act anymore and as a result their interactions kept bypassing each other. One of them would act snarky and challenging while the other was trying to be considerate and polite, then the situation would flip. Though Emma would argue that Regina was more often sassy than polite in any context.

"Why the hell am I here?" Emma finally broke the silence, after sitting patiently at the island without talking so Regina could concentrate while she made what looked to be the best lasagna Emma would ever consume.

"You know why" Regina countered, placing apples and flour on the counter, among other ingredients. Emma did know, she knew enough, and not wanting to actually talk about the reason for their sharing space she changed topic.

"Okay then what are you making now?" Emma held the 'o' so long that Regina was able to turn and quirk her eyebrows into a look that told her she better change her tone before she was kicked off the guest list.

"Why don't you do something useful instead of sitting and whining for no reason? Honestly Miss Swan, I'm not your servant, if you expect to eat you could at least ask if you could lend a hand"

"Well then Madam Mayor, if you're gonna play it that way" Emma slouched off the stool and walked around the island to where Regina had placed all of the ingredients.

"How may I be of service" and she bowed softly, one hand behind her back, head staring at Regina's heeled feet. _W_ _ho wore heels in their own house, while making dinner?_ Emma wondered as she returned upright with a grin only to be met with one of the strangest expressions she had ever seen on Regina Mills face.

"You can — why don't you set the table Miss Swan, perhaps you'll be so kind to leave my plates in one piece" Regina recovered quickly from the sudden outburst.

It was one thing to accept that Emma needed help dealing with her past, it was another to have to deal with— adorable was not the word Regina wanted to use, more like childish behaviour. As Regina watched Emma skip back and forth from the cupboards to the dinning room, it was exactly like watching a child.

Emma would put too many dishes in her arms and move much too quickly to be considered safe for them as she entered and exited the kitchen. And she would pause beside the oven at almost every pass to inhale the smell of the food cooking within it. Uttering some words of "I'm starving" or "It smells soo good" with each pass, though Regina pretended not to hear it.

It was on one of Emma's final trips out of the kitchen that Regina heard the distinct noise of a glass shattering across the floor in the adjoining room. She jumped immediately, and upon the realization of what exactly the noise was, anger flooded her mind. The vision of an 8 year old Henry returning to the kitchen with his head bowed and a quiet apology stifled it enough to stop her from storming into the dining area and starting a lecture that would most likely take the 15 minutes that remained on the oven cooking timer.

Patiently Regina continued rolling the dough, certain that Emma was most likely cleaning up the mess before coming to admit whatever had happened. Though this was not the case, Emma instead was seated on the dining room floor lost in her mind once again.

* * *

 _Emma's small frame was again being thrown roughly against a mirror, and as it shattered everything became slower this time, the glass embedding itself in strands within her back so that each nerve fought and screamed in protest. The following impact against the hardwood floor caused the glass to embed itself even deeper and Emma struggled not to scream._

 _The flecks around her little body glittered in the light of the window, fragmented light that contrasted against the deep red that was trickling into every crack, reflecting his face, and Emma closed her eyes tightly praying to anyone and anything that she could just enter a world of silence._

 _Bringing her knees to her chest and her hands in front of her face like she had learned so many times before, as much as she hoped the crackle of crushing shards would sound as shoes tracked themselves to the door Emma instead heard them come closer before feet were kicking her sides and back continuously. The feet would press suddenly into the glass that lingered in skin, and the screams that came out of Emma's mouth began to feel distant as time slowed and sped itself through her mind. Her back ached so deeply, and when feet finally trudged out of the room, and the sun was still and silent in its descent, Emma began pulling every piece of glass she could wrap her little fingers around out of her flesh._

 _There was red, but there was also relief and when Emma couldn't find any more reflective pieces big enough to wrap her fingers around she curled into herself, pressed her hands deeply around her face and slept. She slept so soundly she didn't hear her social worker enter the room gasping and yelling angrily at the man who was still too drunk to understand what he had done. Emma simply slept._

* * *

As moments pressed forward Regina was unsure if she should feel worried or angered at the absence of her temporary housemate. Was she still cleaning up the mess she made, or was she attempting to hide all evidence? As if Regina hadn't heard the glass shatter.

Holding herself back and putting all of her pent up rage into the apple turnover taking shape beneath her finger-tips, the loud ding of the oven timer made her jump embarrassingly and her face turned red despite the entirely absent kitchen. Finally, Regina fixed her hair, for no reason other than that it was messy from cooking, and pulled the lasagna out of the oven. Sidestepping the island she entered the dining room mentally preparing herself for the lecture she had held back while baking.

As Regina entered the dining area she was met by a very worrying scene, the glass that Regina had rightly pinpointed as meeting an untimely end, was in fact splayed across the wood floor, but in its wake was the smallest Emma Regina had ever seen.

There was a soft intake of air before Regina had all but dropped the lasagna onto the table, neglecting to balance it properly, and it was a miracle that it too did not fall upon the floor. Regina reached for Emma among the small pieces of glass, and saw that a shard had punctured the woman's shoulder, though the rest of her seemed fine, at least physically.

"Oh, Emma" Regina whispered softly as she pulled the woman into her and away from the useless glass that was no longer of any importance to the Mayor.

"Emma" Regina continued as softly as she could "Come back to me now"

In Emma's restless sleep like state she felt arms wrap around her. Whether it was the memory of her social worker or Regina's strong grasp Emma would never know, but she continued to wonder nevertheless, how it was possible to feel so completely safe.

* * *

It didn't take long for Emma to awake, though Regina felt as if it was hours, the lasagna precariously placed on the table still steamed in the nearly empty house, ignorant towards the two woman wrapped on the floor, surrounded by a broken glass.

Emma's safety shattered away from her as she sat up suddenly, and at the sight of the glass she had accidently dropped onto the hard floor she began apologizing, ignoring the woman who had cocooned her in a shell of safety for as long as she possibly could.

"Oh shit, Regina I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to I swear" Emma ranted off quickly as she began picking up the pieces of glass roughly, ignoring the pricks as they stabbed her hand due to her carelessness. _shit shit shit_ Emma repeated as she reached for the glass edges with each second that ticked by.

"Stop" Regina instructed with no response.

"Emma, STOP" Regina tried again with a little more fervor.

Immediately Emma shied away, her shoulders falling and a mask of emptiness covered her features as she stood placing the pieces of glass on a napkin.

"Right..right sorry. I'm just gonna.." Emma started for the door.

Regina was left baffled at Emma's sudden exit, seated now alone, cross legged on her floor and though all Regina wanted to do was curl up on her couch with some cider there was no way in hell she was letting Emma wander around the town in this state.

"Dammit" She mumbled under her breath before standing up and brushing the tiny shards of glass off her pant suit. Stepping over the remnants on the floor, she hurriedly strode to the door pushing it open to find Emma Swan gliding down her walkway.

"Emma!" Regina called, before continuing down the steps stopping just in front of Emma who had froze at the sound of her name leaving those lips.

"Hi" Emma responded as she turned, followed by a small wave. At the sight of Emma's hand Regina visibly stiffened.

"Your hand. Dammit Swan, get inside" Regina interrupted Emma's thought process with the last sentence she thought would leave the Mayor's lips at this point.

"But I-"

"Now" Regina hissed, but there was a lingering note of concern that Emma held onto as she stalked up the walkway, intensely aware of the figure behind her.

They bypassed the remanence of the dining area, as Emma now followed Regina into the kitchen and she pulled a first aid kit from the side cupboard motioning for Emma to sit. Emma wanted to mention that she knew how to bandage a few cuts, and had plenty of practice at it, but she didn't think Regina would take too kindly to any words that might come out of her mouth, let alone ones that basically said what she was doing was unnecessary.

"Emma, you are going to tell me what happened" Regina spoke with certainty as she started dabbing at Emma's hand removing any pieces of glass that lingered. Her words were without any form of accusation or expectancy, and Emma knew that if she honestly said she didn't want to talk about it Regina would concede. But, she also wasn't even certain where to begin. How was she supposed to tell someone everything, without disclosing the brokenness that she was, because that was all she was. An abandoned orphan, lost in a world that cut her open and left her stranded in the only place she couldn't escape time and time again.

"Regina, I really don't know how, or what to say" Emma admitted.

"Anything, you start anywhere Emma, but the important thing is that you start" Regina urged Emma forward.

"I just - I guess... I don't know. I keep having flashbacks" Emma began softly, and Regina wound a thin bandage around Emma's injured hand as she stuttered.

"I think I was 5, maybe. I could have been 4...or 6 I guess. I don't really know it all kinda blurs together. And I was at one of the third homes since the Swan's" Emma was jolted from her explanation by Regina's sudden presence directly beside her, her hands gripping her forearm. At first Emma was completely taken aback but at the sudden jolt of pain that sent shocks to her finger-tips she realized their most be a piece of glass lodged in her upper arm.

"Shit Regina, give a girl some warning next time" Emma whinned.

"Oh hush up, you were saying" Regina retorted, though her fingers slowed and softened as she removed the glass with a pair of tweezers. Emma gritted her teeth keeping silent, though she wanted to curse repeatedly she wasn't about to start swearing in the face of the woman who was caring for her. Though Regina took the silence as a hesitancy to share what was happening in the younger woman mind

"Emma I think I have an idea" Regina said softly, as she finished pressing a bandage to Emma's arm and began tidying up the first aid supplies.

"Instead of me sitting here, and you stuttering through an explanation, why don't you write it down for me" there was a question in Regina's tone, as if she was not sure whether this was the best idea or not. It had worked for her, pages and pages filled with the memories that caught her in the night, or during the most mundane moments of the day in the past 10 years were trapped and scratched into two identical leather journals that were carefully placed in her bedside drawer.

"Or maybe you don't want me to read it, but I think writing it down could help" Regina finished lamely putting the first aid kit back in its proper place before signalling Emma to follow her into the dining room.

Emma quickly disposed of the rest of the glass before seating herself at the table to Regina's right, staring at the lasagna which Regina had reheated in the oven quickly while Emma had straightened the room.

"I will write down whatever you want if you'll give me a piece of that" Emma assured before holding up her plate with a smirk, and despite Regina's best efforts at nonchalance the tiniest reminisce of a smile creeped into her features as she placed a large portion of food on Emma's plate. Though it slipped quickly away as her mind lingered on the empty leather journal she had placed in her desk drawer just a few weeks prior, and the possible contents that would soon fill it.


	7. Chapter 7

The dinner would most likely be considered as pleasant, in every definition of the word. And though Emma was not afraid to sound her approval of the food in grunts and moans, conversation was non existent. Yet, the sound of silverware on plates was less than uncomfortable and both figures in the late light were enjoying themselves regardless of the reverberating silence in the large house.

When Emma finally finished her second piece of lasagna and sat back with a satisfied slump, Regina immediately rose and began collecting the dishes, moving towards the kitchen with quickness.

"D'you want me to do that Regina?" Emma asked quietly trying to drown out her words in the silence, as she climbed out of her seat before Regina could protest, taking all of the dishes in Regina's hands over to the kitchen sink before beginning to wash.

Regina watched Emma enter and exist the doorway without another move. She was left in the empty room contemplating the fact that despite every emotion she should be feeling staring at the one person who could completely destroy her relationship with Henry, and her entire world, all she felt in that moment was warmth. And for the first time in what felt like eternity, she was terrified.

"Emma, I'm just going to go get the journal we talked about, okay?" Regina spoke mostly to the doorway, flitting toward her office before Emma could respond to her words, or force her to converse in the current state she was in.

"M'kay"

Regina caught the soft sound as she reached the closed oak door that marked the border between the outside world and her office. The nonchalant tone of Emma's voice admits the shuffling of soap and the clatter of glass threw her even further, and entering her office Regina stepped quickly through the threshold and glided to where her drinks sat. Pouring some cider into her crystal before downing it almost immediately, Regina held in a deep breath before letting it out in the quiet air.

Emma had been there for 5 hours, and the Mayor didn't know if she could handle the Sheriff's constant presence for another minute, let alone days.

Moving towards her desk and pulling out the journal, Regina stared at it, waiting for the feeling of welcome warmth to enter her belly. As she felt the cover she imagined the horrors that would soon be home on its pages and the anger that filled her was so sudden, and so aggressive that she didn't know what to do with it.

Taking another swallow of cider into her mouth she could feel her body heating up from the rage and alcohol as they settled over her. She felt exhausted, and had no idea how to help Emma when she was in such shambles herself.

Jarred from her thoughts Regina paused for a moment before she thought she heard a knock at the door. Setting down the glass, but forgetting the leather bound book in her hand, Regina made her way into the entry way, hardly remembering that Emma was in the kitchen banging dishes around the sink.

The knocking intensified as she came closer to it and with another jolt of irritation Regina hurled the door open, stepping into the late light before coming eye to eye with someone she did not recognize. There was a pause as she recalled a similar moment months ago, "Yes?" she sputtered out, her words a mix of malice, and what might be identified as uncertainty by a conscious listener.

"Hey, is Emma here?" The words were less than confident, but they broke Regina out of her mind as she looked the person up and down. He was tall with soft brown hair, stubble and a leather jacket. Looking behind him Regina could see a motorcycle carelessly parked against the sidewalk. The wear of his clothes and the greasy style of his hair were either questionable choices, or evidence of a very unkept hygiene.

"That depends" Regina retorted quickly, becoming more defensive as she watched the man step forward and look over her head.

"On?" He responded by stepping closer still and breathing in her face.

Regina was practically shaking with rage and though all she wanted to do was release it on this gross excuse for a man, she bridled it in. While composing herself Regina missed the change in stance and step back the man took, but as a hand brushed hers and the journal was removed she realized that Emma had come up behind her and was standing very close with her shoulders set and her eyes a firm and disgusted glare.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Emma stood taller than Regina had ever seen her and as she looked between the two she realized that they looked oddly similar in the way they shifted their body weight from one foot to the other, but where the man was lit up with a grin, a firm grimace twisted itself across Emma's face.

"Look Emma, I just came to—"

"You know what August, I couldn't give two shits what you are doing here, you can just walk your greasy ass back to wherever the hell it came from" Emma spat, reaching in front of Regina before moving to pull the door closed.

"Wait!" August put his hand against the doors edge just in time for Emma to slam his fingers against the doorjamb with a loud crunch.

"Fuck! Emma, you broke my hand!" August cursed aggressively while almost bouncing from foot to foot shaking his arm while caressing his hand and glaring at the two women.

Regina had hardly moved an inch except for making room for Emma, and though she had no idea who this August was, it was obvious that he wasn't welcome here.

Pushing Emma gently to the side, Regina moved forward just outside of the doorway, nose to nose with her new unwanted guest, her anger seething and stirring as she glared before she tore in, "I have little knowledge of who you are, or what you think you are doing here, verbally assaulting myself and my guest, trespassing on private property and forcefully attempting to enter my home. BUT if you so much as breathe in this direction in the future I can assure you, you will have more than simply a bruised hand"

"Is that supposed to frighten me?" August was looking down with disgust and back up to Emma as if she was going to suddenly switch sides and defend him.

"Oh I should hope so" Emma finished Regina's next thought with a firm glare, stepping up behind her yet again.

Regina could feel Emma's presence near her side and as Emma's breathing increased her presence seemed to press itself tighter to the point where she could hardly concentrate on the man in front of her who was bumbling out incoherent sentences. Catching herself as distracted and maneuvering her weight away from the taller woman Regina realized that whatever August had been saying was physically affecting Emma.

" — to bloody apologize, and here I thought after everything you would treasure the moment a little more" August finished his grumbling

"Really? THAT is your story? That is CRAP" Emma spoke harshly, spitting her words out at full volume, but there was a tired undertone that grew as she spoke.

Regina could feel Emma's form as it shook with a mixture of anger and sadness, and turning to the other woman she could see tears forming in her eyes as she yelled.

"Get the _hell_ off my property" Regina was darkly monotone now, her anger untamed and unhinged as she stepped forward with each word, spitting them out, ready to physically remove him if he stayed a moment longer.

"Okay, okay geez, whatever, but don't say I didn't try" August was grumbling as he backed away towards the road and his motorcycle.

Regina stood still and steady as she waited for him to get on his bike. August was noticeably favouring his right hand as he climbed atop and took off down Mifflin Street, the loud rev of the engine harsh in the now dark and quiet street.

Turning back towards the house Regina realized that Emma was nowhere in sight, and still seething Regina was angry that Emma would disappear again, but as she walked into the house closing the door firmly, she heard the sound of the back door being slammed shut.

Her anger dissipating and replacing itself with concern as she moved, Regina stopped short at the back window that just illuminated a very dishevelled Emma, her red jacket reflecting in the light, as she stumbled forward, all but falling beneath Regina's apple tree.

There was a pause as Regina reached for the door. Instead, deciding to give Emma a moment, she made her way to her office, and reaching into the bottom drawer she pulled out a box that revealed an elegant black pen. Spinning it between her fingers, she sighed heavily as she made her way back towards the apple tree, and a very broken and disheveled Emma.

Emma was trembling as she fell into the damp grass, and she couldn't pinpoint which emotion was pressing itself into her more strongly. She was beyond angry, but she also felt emptiness and sadness to the core of her being. The cool air was nothing in comparison to the shivers that spread through her body as she closed her eyes and leaned her body against the tree.

But before long the anger and fear that she was floating on slowly began to sink, and waves of emptiness kept pressing against her until the tears she could feel stretched across her cheek and chin had no meaning.

Emma could hear Regina's soft footfalls as they moved across the grass. She didn't acknowledge or open her eyes when they came to a stop and warmth brushed against her as Regina sat down.

"Here."

Emma opened her eyes and was faced with a pen, blurred by the tears that still lingered. She sat up slowly, reaching for the pen and bringing the journal that had been pressed into the grass under her hand up to her knees.

She stared at them both, pressing the pen into the page as hard as she could. There was nothing.

She didn't know how to order her thoughts enough to acknowledge them, let alone put them into words, and her hands shook as she pressed the pen deeper into the pages, closing her eyes, but there were too many emotions swirling in the empty darkness that lingered there.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So this is pretty short, but it is all I had time for and I hate leaving such big gaps in between updates (which I apologize for, again). On an unrelated note, I was writing this chapter and I started to fall deeper and deeper into my thoughts about Regina's character and I guess this came out instead of a more Emma focused development, ooops and sorry in advance - again.

* * *

"Emma slow down"

The words broke Emma's concentration and she felt that her breathing was increasing at a rapid rate. Her eyes mildly focused on the pages beneath her fingertips, moving her hand in harsh circles, dragging the pen along without thought, the ink spreading out in dark blotches as her heart began beating faster and faster.

"Emma? Slowly…" Regina spoke softly, reaching for Emma's hand that was holding the pen and wrapping her own around it gently.

Everything Emma felt and knew was slipping at the edge of her mind, she could feel Regina next to her, but there was a warmth spreading from her chest as it heaved and her senses couldn't focus until there was nothing but panic. Her lungs couldn't hold anything, each heave of air slipping back out through some unseen whole.

"Are you alright Emma?" Regina almost whispered, wondering if Emma was somewhere back in her past, her eyes unfocused and breathing rapid.

"yeah" Emma responded in a shaky voice, inhaling into the word, gulping back air without moving her hand away. She could feel herself panicking, as if all the air in the world had been sucked away and there was no oxygen left. It felt like the absence of air was burning into her and the faster her heart was beating the quicker she was breathing, until the numbness seeped further and her fingers began trembling as her vision blurred more, forcing her eyes to close.

"Every time I sit under this apple tree I think of my Mother" Regina spoke clear and calm. Closing her hand around Emma's more tightly, and refraining from leaning towards her as she spoke, knowing that she needed space. Not enough to fall further into her mind, but perhaps enough to think and breathe a little.

"She wasn't very warm, my Mother" Regina continued without pause, her voice lacking any explicit emotion, "She had the unpleasant habit of trying to do what was best for me, regardless of how much I protested against it. Actually you might say that the more I would protest, the more involved she would become. And this tree, it became a place of quiet solace, where I could escape her; at least for the short time it took for her to send someone to find me."

As Regina spoke Emma focused her mind on the ups and downs of her voice, following the flow of words and their feel as her breathing began to mellow into short gasps, the heat in her chest lingering.

"Once, she found me in the stables. I had a horse then, Rocinante, and I would sneak out and ride him when what I wanted did not align with Mother's expectation. This time I was supposed to go to an event, meet some suitor that would most certainly have elevated our status, but I snuck out of the house and had disappeared into the woods well before anyone was aware of my absence. I was just finished my ride and I was brushing him out — I still remember the feel of his fur, it was so soft, and the stable was so warm." Emma became more conscious and less panicked as the words continued to flow into the cool air. Keeping her eyes closed and trying not to move and disturb the woman next to her, she felt Regina's hand tremble and tighten around her's as she continued to speak.

Regina cleared her throat as she continued. "And Mother, she hardly ever came into the stables, she hated when she even had to send someone to drag me back home; the time it took was so inconvenient in light of more pressing issues" there was another pause, "this time she came herself. She walked into that stable like it was a grand hall, strutting across the straw covered floor like it was marble that had been polished 3 times a day. I could hear the tread of her shoes thud on the soft wood as she came around the corner, her expensive gown that she hadn't changed out of after the event swishing among the shuffling hooves, and she walked right up to the stall. She didn't pause, she didn't hesitate, she knew exactly where I was and exactly what she wanted" Regina looked up at the white walled house, her voice dying in the dull light as her eyes wandered up the frame of the window and across to the shallow light of the door.

"She finished her approach, waited for me to turn, looked me dead in the eye, and slapped me" Regina's voice was cold and detached, but her presence filled Emma's senses, her every move, and breath giving her something to focus on outside herself as pangs of empathy flew through her mind while Regina recounted.

"It was not the first time, and certainly would not be the last, but it shocked me in that moment. I thought I was free there, breathing in the warmth and soaking up the quiet. I thought I was rebelling somehow, but that was certainly not the case. She was not angry, I knew when she was angry. In that moment she was pleased. Pleased that she was given the opportunity to teach me a lesson. I might have been her perfect obedient daughter for the next few weeks too, but that was not enough. After a very short and concise lecture, Mother had Rocinante whipped, and she forced me to watch. To teach me to behave and that the stable was never as safe as I thought, and I found that it was never as warm or inviting for quite some time afterwards"

Emma's breathing had slowed considerably, and both woman now sat in the silence. Each a little shaky, a little broken, and cracked open just enough to feel secure in the presence of the other.

Emma tried to think of what to say as a response, and she could feel her hand shaking as she lifted the pen up, feeling the grip of Regina's hand lighten and disappear as she moved. Pressing it down beneath a series of thick black circles, she exhaled deeply, pushing the words out from her mind in sloppy, scratched handwriting:

 _I didnt know.  
_ _I mean I guess I dont know a lot of things but I didnt know that kind of thing and_ _Im not gonna say Im sorry because it doesnt really mean anything anyways but I sorta am.  
_ _Not sorry for you, but I guess really just kinda sorry about the world._ _Sorry that all these things happen that we cant control and pissed that its able to break us down._ _  
_ _And Im really sorry for being here and bringing up things and making your life a hell of a lot harder than it was  
_ _Ill try and be better and calm down and be less of a pain in your ass from now on._

"Maybe invite less people over" Regina broke the hushed silence that fell as Emma wrote, and Emma immediately turned to the older women to find that Regina was half grinning, but sadness and questions lingered in the twist of her jaw and tilt of her head.

As Emma attempted to respond she became heavily conscious of the soft hand now lightly touching her own that wasn't gripping the pen for dear life as she stared speechless in surprise at the interruption. In the same moment Regina became just as aware and tugged the hand back into her chest while leaning into Emma just slightly enough to allow their shoulders to brush as a way of conveying that she could keep talking, or writing if she wanted.

"You know, if someone told me a month ago — or even a week ago, that I would be sitting in the Mayor's backyard sharing childhood traumas, I probably would've laughed their ass out of town" Emma tried to lighten the air, tapping the pen against the journal in a repetitive and soothing motion, still almost as anxious as she had been when she had seated herself beneath the tree.

"Mmm" Regina responded in a hushed voice as if she had just now realized what she had so freely shared with the Sheriff. "In a more accurate summarization, you never actually shared your so called 'childhood trauma'. It was in fact I that shared with you" Deciding to flip the attention back at Emma, and genuinely curious about so many things that had happened Regina spoke as flippantly as possible, but the weight behind her words made them thick and expectant to Emma's ear.

In response the soft tap tap of the pen became silent and Emma's entire body stiffened and straightened against the tree where it had been slumped so exhaustedly a moment before.

"You don't have to" Regina changed her tone once again, softening and soothing Emma back to a tightened version of her carefree self.

"Thought I was gonna write it" Emma responded with a grin, waving one of Regina's nicest pens in the air as if that explained everything that had happened in the past two days. Her tired movements and the dark outline around her eyes showing more than her flippant tone would suggest, and they both knew it.

"Then do so" Regina challenged. Refraining from looking directly back at the journal and the scratched writing that spread across the first few lines of it's pages. Instead glancing up at the apples hanging and waving gently from the branches of her tree as she recalled every word she had spoken and mentally pinched herself at the disclosure and weakness she had displayed.

"Fine" Emma mumbled before bowing her head and turning the journal to the next page, pressing her pen down as if to begin writing.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Hey guys… I know I'm awful. I had 80% of this chapter written months ago but summer was super crazy and ahh — I'm so so sorry._

 _But, most importantly this chapter is quite intense and dark, especially in the flashback bit. So please, please, please don't read if it might trigger you. As previously mentioned:_ ** _Child Abuse, Violence, and Rape trigger warnings._**

* * *

"I just —"

Regina jumped at the sudden words, and started to shuffle her hands around, pressing them to her stomach in embarrassment at being startled by Emma yet again.

"Sorry Regina"

The words came out hushed and Emma stared back down at the journal she had been closely examining in silence for almost 20 minutes now.

"I don't think this is really working for me"

Emma closed the leather bound book with one hand before slipping the pen between the pages and placing it at Regina's feet apologetically.

"I know you said it would help me express things and whatever, but I just don't know how to get it out. Its like it's all tangled together or something and I can't figure out how to untangle it without everything coming apart"

Regina turned towards Emma as she spoke, shifting against the tree trunk and allowing her hand to come to rest just beside Emma's, she could feel the warmth coming off of it and pressing against her cool one.

"Tell me one thing. One memory or one feeling that is on your mind. Just one thing that you thought of but couldn't write down"

"Well —"

Emma started but stopped deep in thought as she tried to find the words she needed. Equally distracted by her general inability to focus and how close and warm the women next to her was.

"I know, that you know I grew up in the foster system from those records that you pulled. So you know I went through homes faster than they could find them. But, a lot of them were not so great" She paused, the words catching "— abusive I guess"

Emma paused again. Trying to drown out memories of harsh words, cold cellars and loud noises.

"The good ones were few and far between, and I was able to screw them up every time any ways. There was this one home, it was everything a foster family is supposed to be. Two parents, with two nice kids, a beautiful house, and good food. They were just trying to help someone out for a few months, but me, I was in paradise, and after that I was put the worst place"

Regina watched Emma's face first smile and then frown deeply at the memory, she could see her eyes glazing over as she spoke and her cheeks begin to redden in anger.

"I knew the place was crap when the social worker dropped me off, because I'd been in similar homes before. There were 2 kids sitting on the porch, which was basically just rotten wood. Everything was so dirty and heaped with garbage. One of them was glaring at me as I got out of the car and she had bruises spreading across her jaw. She didn't even try to hide it from the social worker, and neither of them even flinched as they yelled at me to behave before driving off"

Emma's body was starting to shake now. Regina could tell she was angry and without thinking began to rub circles across the top of the hand that had been resting millimetres from her own. Both of their heart rates were speeding up, but Emma visibly relaxed slightly at the contact.

"I kept my mouth shut and no one bothered me at first"

Her words were coming out fast now, almost slurred by her need to push them into the light. To make them real so they could dissipate and no longer belong solely to her.

"For the majority of the day nobody talked to me at all, I just sort of sat in the corner with my back pack on my lap waiting for something to happen. I just knew if I moved —"

Emma paused for a long moment, inhaling and exhaling rapidly.

"He was an asshole and so was she" the words came out of Emma's mouth through gritted teeth.

"He took the only thing I had left, and she let him."

Emma stood abruptly, and Regina followed close behind. Clenching her jaw as she watched Emma stumble through the doorway, slamming her fist hard against the solid wood frame as she past. Regina watched as Emma stopped dead in her tracks. She watched her body tense, and then she watched her pick up a chair and smash it into pieces against the ground before crumbling in on herself.

Regina sprang forward and wrapped her arms around Emma from behind, squeezing her tight and linking their fingers together while Emma began to sob uncontrollably remembering a night that had only existed as a blurred dream in the recesses of her mind.

* * *

 _"FOR FUCK SAKE WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"_

 _Emma tightened the one handed white knuckled grip she had on her backpack at the sudden voice coming out of the hallway to her left. Not knowing what to expect, Emma hadn't moved from the place in the corner she had sat down in. But that had been hours ago, and she had memorized the look and smell of everything in the room from the 6 empty pizza boxes scattered and stacked on the floor to the 58 tiles on the ceiling since then._

 _There was a hush from the other two creatures sitting in front of the house and Emma held back a sigh because their arguing and jeering had been hurting her head for a while now. Although she knew better then to say anything about it, she wished she had the courage to go talk to them, if only to maybe make a friend._

 _Someone thudded out of a doorway and into a hallway that Emma couldn't quite see down, but that connected to the large living area she had chosen to sit in. And looking up from the floor Emma was met with a tall women, clomping her way into the room with heavy feet and an even heavier looking face. Meeting the women's eyes made Emma cringe. There was something entirely empty about the way she was looking at the world, and it made Emma feel cold._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _The words came out in a deep rasp, but clear and concise, pointed and with a goal in mind. It took Emma a moment to respond as the figure walked into the next room lazily before waiting for an answer._

 _Suddenly becoming aware of herself and the situation she was in Emma removed her finger from the large crack in the floor she had been tracking and breaking in, hopped to her feet making sure her backpack was securely placed on her shoulder, and followed with a slight:_

 _"Nothing ma'am"_

 _Stepping into a small kitchen, Emma could immediately tell that the only thing it held was dirty dishes, old takeout boxes, general filth, and empty cupboards — not that she expected anything else. It was then that Emma also realized there was a fourth person inside the building. He looked to be 4 or 5 years older than her almost 10 year old self, and the way he grinned when she entered the room made her stop dead and her body want to move entirely in the opposite direction of him._

 _"You must be the new girl… this one is pretty eh Ma?"_

 _The words were followed by a rough laugh that sounded like a screeching rasp to Emma's ears. She automatically took a step back from the boy._

 _"Oh shut it! And go show her where she can sleep and stay quiet."_

 _The women spoke so precisely it was odd to watch her mouth and body move in contrast. Everything she was doing was so slow and clumsy Emma was mesmerized. Even her eyes lazed about, watching the boy stand to his feet and then lazily moving back to the box she was uselessly opening and shutting._

"C'mon, little Bird" he whispered, as he passed.

 _She could feel herself beginning to tremble and she wondered if it was from nervousness or the fear that struck her every time he searched her with his eyes._

 _After showing Emma the room, he promptly disappeared which was a great relief. Though, Emma couldn't quite pinpoint why. He had pointed to one of the mattresses on the dirty floor before laying down on it and saying it was her home from now on. He had then promptly stood up and dropped his voice towards her before disappearing:_

 _"Bye, little Bird"_

 _Emma fell asleep on her dirty mattress faster than she thought. Her stomach had been grumbling but she knew there was nothing in the house anyways, and she was too disappointed to get up and see for sure. She faced the wall and curled up, knees to chest. The only thing she had with her was the blanket that she had been found in and she wrapped herself in it before placing her head on her backpack and drifting off._

 _He came when it was dark. Emma felt him lay down beside her and could hear his breathing thickly in the cool air of the room as she awoke, his hair tickling her cheek and making her tense even further. He trapped her between his body and the wall, tugging her blanket away before she had time to panic._

 _His body was burning everywhere it touched her and she screamed what was an unintelligible collection of words that all had the same meaning, before he slapped his hand against her mouth and against her chest, pushing her down._

 _Emma could hear other people in the room and she wondered why they weren't saying anything, or trying to help her. Everything was blurred and hot, and Emma's body was shaking and trembling while she sniffled and pushed and pulled to get him off of her._

 _She turned her head to the side and locked eyes with the women she had met that morning. Those eyes were still empty, a void that Emma wished she could fall into and her movements were just as slow as her feet stumbled out of the doorway and into the next room._

 _Emma was trembling and terrified. Everything hurt and burned now and there wasn't enough air, but most of all their was a weight so heavy against her that she didn't think it would ever come off of her chest. Searching the room frantically she locked eyes with the boy she had seen sitting on the porch earlier, he was laying on the mattress pressed against the far wall and another jolt of adrenaline filled her bloodstream as she expected him to move, to yell and to rip away the mass that was suffocating her. But he didn't move, he watched for a moment, and then turned away._

 _She turned her face to the ceiling, and everything became blurry again. There was a blurred brown stain on the ceiling tiles, and the window that was pitched black had a blurring crack spreading from its side to its top and in the corner right above her there was a spider who went in and out of focus as he moved and spun on his thin line of thread. She stopped fighting — but she kept crying even after he got up and left her there._

 _When the sound of his breathing stopped and the door slammed in its frame she got sick all over the bed. And again all over the floor on her way out the door with only her blanket clamped firmly in her hands. She walked till the sun came up before someone with a soft smile and dark circles under their eyes approached her and brought her away again._

* * *

Emma opened her eyes and felt strong hands wrapped around her. There was a moment of pause before she began to panic, trapped in someone else's embrace.

Regina could feel Emma come to as she stopped crying, then her muscles tensed and her fingers began to tremble, in immediate response Regina lightened her grip almost entirely stroking Emma's arms up and down,

"It okay, Emma you are safe"

Regina hushed the words quietly as Emma's body relaxed into hers ever so slowly, her head leaning back so it was resting on Regina's shoulder.

"Do you mind if we sit down? I want to tell you a story."

Emma spoke quietly, but Regina heard the words loud and clear, and she knew something was about to happen that she would not be able to take back. There was an unrecognizable panic that flooded Regina's system at the thought of how open and raw she and Emma were both being. It made her want to run and to burn everything they had become down, but there was something about Emma, ever so broken but yet so strong and beautifully free, that pulled Regina in once again.

Emma could not believe she was still standing as she felt the safety net holding her up disappear before a strong hand wrapped itself around hers and led her over to the sofa, letting go once they sat down only to wipe the remaining tears form her face.

"Whenever you are ready"

Regina curled her hands together and watched as Emma began shifting, there was a moment when the both thought Emma was going to bolt before words suddenly burst into the room, a flurry of emotion and dead weight that passed out of Emma's body.

After a few sentences Regina was pale, and by the time Emma even got halfway through the story there were tears burning at the edges of her vision. When Emma said she had puked Regina was so pale and her stomach was in such upheaval she almost vomited herself. Yet despite the horror in Emma's tale, there was a relief in her voice as she spoke, and Regina tried to focus on that peace as she listened.

The moment Emma finished her story she sighed deeply and wiped at her eyes aggressively, some of the anger coming back at both her past and her present emotions.

Regina reached for her hand, she didn't have any words for the other women that could mean enough, so she pulled her in, and surprisingly enough, Emma let her. Regina wrapped her up like she wished someone would have when she was 10 years old. Regina subconsciously began rocking her ever so softly until both of their breathing became even and they relaxed into one another and into a restful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: I gift you with happiness and joy this day. Breathe now, while you can._

Emma awoke slowly feeling warmth all around. She felt light. Not as if she might float away, but as if she was stronger; as if she was capable of breathing without the weight of her world crashing in on her. She felt comfort.

When she finally opened her eyes, it was only slightly surprising to Emma that her head was resting on the stomach of a sleeping Regina. Emma lifted her body and watched the Mayor shift uncomfortably against the edge of the couch. There was a slight pause before the woman began borrowing herself deeper as if the absence of Emma's weight left her looking for something. It made Emma grin as she admired Regina's rosy cheeks and the soft sigh that escaped her lips when she lifted herself off the couch gently.

On her feet and wandering towards the kitchen she was struck by the sight of the dining room chair she had broken across Regina's floor. Panic and shame filled Emma at destroying something of Regina's. Stooping, she examined what was left intact, and despite her best intentions, she knew there was no hope for the chair.

Picking the pieces up and collecting them all together, Emma brought them out back. Stacking them outside the door, she looked up at Regina's apple tree and paused as the image of two women sitting under a night's sky filled her mind.

Everything about the night, like the first, made her want to run, and scream, and grip control of the situation in any way possible. And yet, she was smiling at the image of friendship replaying in her mind. Tipping the scales between fear and belonging. Perhaps she had found someone. Found someone worth trusting.

Her first goal still in mind, Emma drifted towards the kitchen sliding her socked feet across the tiles as she explored the cupboards. It was almost 11 and Emma wasn't sure if she should make breakfast, or lunch, but decided to start with coffee and move forward from there.

It was odd, to move around the Mayor's —Regina's kitchen, while she was sleeping just in the next room. It was making Emma jittery. It also didn't help that the coffee maker was a jigsaw puzzle of options and timers, and temperatures.

Emma did her best, finding after enough button pushing that there was a preset mode and she set it up and watched eagerly as the warm liquid steamed into existence. After the maker stopped spitting out liquid Emma repeated the procedure and with a cup in each hand she shuffled back towards the living room.

She paused at the door. It was intimidating feeling so close to someone. Even though she had known Regina for months, she hadn't really known her at all, and becoming so close so fast was something Emma had always been wary of. She took a deep breath and shuffled her way back to the couch, setting one of the cups down as she seated herself at the tips of Regina's toes and shook her shoulder.

Regina exhaled before turning her head towards Emma and sitting up with a blush.

"I uh — here is some coffee" Emma gestured slowly.

Emma was so flustered all of the sudden that the languid calm that had floated over her since she had awoken broke and her mind finally caught up to the fact that the home, and everything in it, including the peacefulness that had overtaken her sanity, was all being given to her freely by the woman sitting in front of her yawning like a cat after a long nap.

Regina hummed softly, reaching and gripping the mug in both hands before bringing it to her lips and sipping it softly. She paused with it resting just against the edge of her chin and Emma was struck memorizing the fluttering eyelashes that followed deep blinking eyes. She couldn't help but let her eyes stray to a softly rounded nose, and she paused on Regina's deep closed lips that crept open with a soft purse of a pleasant taste. The tussled bumps of hair that wisped around the back of Regina's neck and against her cheek were equally distracting as they reached towards the collar of her blouse that was both tight and wrinkled and as Emma's gaze continued to wander —

"Well"

The word came out of Regina's mouth before she was able to completely formulate a thought and she realized that she felt slow in her movements, most likely out of drowsiness. She turned her head to face Emma as she lowered her cup, while still gripping it in both hands, and paused. Emma was avoiding eye contact and her cheeks were turning quite red.

Regina looked down at herself and back at Emma, and around the room. But she could find no reason for the odd look in Emma's eye and the panic that appeared to be creeping into the blonde.

Emma, on the other hand, was unable to come up with anything to say to Regina, she was so distracted by how un-intimidating and presently sweet the woman looked that she could feel her face filling with heat from staring at her for so long. She couldn't understand why she was so comfortable and she was also embarrassed for staring at Regina so blatantly, and simply put, she did not know what to do with herself.

"Thank you"

The words came out in a sudden blurt of thought and Regina jumped.

"Thank you as well" the response finally came.

"Regina, I really do mean it. I wish there was more than a thank you that I could give you because what you are doing for me is so much more and — I just really don't have the words, you know?"

Emma motioned all around before gripping the mug between her hands tightly and staring into the liquid there as if the steam was bringing her the words she needed.

"It really is my pleasure Emma"

Regina smiled through her words and there was an ease that resettled in their world space. Emma sighed softly, sinking into the couch and sipped slowly while Regina seemed to have fallen into an equally deep stupor of thought.

"I was planning on going into the office today. I have a few tasks to complete, though not so much that I will be gone more than an hour or two. I am sure you can easily entertain yourself here, or perhaps you would like to come?"

There was a hesitancy in Regina's tone and Emma wasn't sure if it meant Regina wanted her to come or not.

On one hand, Emma imagined she would go crazy in the house without Regina in it, as she wandered about afraid to touch or come to close to anything. On the other, she knew that Regina's patience would fall quickly at her constant need to shuffle about, and Emma didn't want to bother her too much.

"Maybe — I think I should probably stop by the station and make sure everything is still in order. There might not be a lot happening in Storybrooke but I don't want to overwhelm Sydney or neglect my duties. I wouldn't want anyone thinking I didn't value my position"

The end of her sentence came out teasingly and Regina huffed good-naturedly in response.

"Of course, Sheriff Swan"

The taunt came out of Regina's mouth before she could think ahead to how it might sound in their present domestic state and she sputtered at the sweetness in her tone which had so easily replaced her usual jeering malice before standing up and climbing the stairs without another word.

Emma was flustered by Regina's odd reactions. Where teasing and anger usual fell was now an overflowing space of warmth and kindness.

Eventually, Emma finished her coffee and after depositing it in the kitchen she followed Regina up the stairs, entering the spare room where some of her belongings were kept in a duffel bag. Switching into black skinny jeans and a deep red sweater Emma glanced are her red leather jacket before pulling on some socks and exiting the room.

She paused at the sound of water running before moving back down the stairs with a quietness that only a thief might use.

Sauntering into the kitchen Emma began opening and shutting cupboard doors with a complete disregard for what could easily be seen as an intrusion. Snooping about with contentment as she contemplated what she might be able to put together before Regina came down.

Settling on a few ingredients Emma went to work.

She heard Regina strutting across the dining room before she saw her, pausing before admiring the table, Emma grinned and sat down.

"What is that smell, Miss Swan?"

Regina had entered the room all business, dressed in a fine fitting pencil skirt with a white tucked blouse. Emma had heard the clicking noise even before seeing the heels on Regina's feet. Why she wore shoes in her own home, Emma would never know.

"I made you some lunch"

Emma gestured to the table before glancing between the food and Regina who seemed to be grimacing.

Regina sat down slowly, unsure of whether or not she should grin and bear whatever it was hidden under the peculiar set up of dishes, or excuse herself before she even found out.

Emma couldn't help letting out a laugh at Regina's uncertainty but was enjoying herself too much to put her at ease just yet.

Underneath the first lid, Emma unveiled an elaborate grilled cheese with bacon and peanut butter, all mushed together in-between two thick layers of bread. She grinned and almost burst out laughing when she looked back to Regina's face, who seemed to be ready to throw everything off of the table if it got her out of eating such a mess.

"And—" Emma drummed her hands on the table softly before exposing a very deceptive dish that to Regina's surprise held a very appetizing salad,

"Kale salad for the lady" Emma smiled as she reset the table with Regina's salad in front of her and her greasy creation right where it belonged: on her plate.

"I thought I was going to have to pretend to fall unconscious after the first bite, though I'm sure I might have anyway. I didn't know you were capable of navigating anything that didn't contain a fine layer of grease Miss Swan"

Regina was becoming more and more comfortable, leaning back in her chair and releasing the tension in her body now that she knew she was consuming something she could actually swallow, while still not having to hurt Emma's feelings.

With her hand pausing on its way to her mouth Regina almost dropped her fork. Since when did she care so much for Emma's feelings? Why was she so worried about someone she should despise? She didn't care for Emma, of course not, that would be insane.

Emma looked up at Regina mid-bite to find her hand cemented in the air. Perplexed Emma chewed slowly before sputtering out a soft "Regina?" Which came out with more emphasis on the 'g' then Emma intended and Regina's face flushed and contorted as the bite was shoved into her mouth without another word.

Emma searched Regina with questioning eyes before choosing instead to leave the woman alone after already having tested her patience with the dramatic unveiling.

"Should I drop you off at the station? Or would you prefer walking?"

Regina's business tone gave Emma pause, but she shrugged it off before swallowing.

"I guess you could just drop me off at the station. Is a kinda cold out and my bug is still parked there from before… so you won't need to pick me back up cause I will need it tomorrow anyway. I mean, Sydney may be willing to cover for me today, but I'm still the Sheriff"

Regina tried not to smirk at the defensive tone that grew as Emma spoke.

"Of course Miss Swan—"

"Stop saying that, it's weird"

Emma drew back quickly, stacking a few dishes and almost sprinting into the kitchen.

"What do you mean? Stop doing what?"

Regina stood perplexed before reaching for whatever was at hand and following Emma's stomping feet.

"Ugh come on Regina, the whole 'Miss Swan' thing is starting to drive me crazy. I am Emma, remember? I made you lunch? We fell asleep on a couch together? You don't have to use formalities when you're with friends"

Regina was dumbstruck at the sudden explosion of emotion,

"You thought — we're friends?"

Regina looked and felt almost as confused as when she had first met Emma, all seriousness and worry, and a look that reminded Emma a little bit of fear.

"I mean, it's not that crazy right?" Emma shook her head and tried to push away the loneliness that was creeping back in from all sides, masking her emotions easily before placing her dishes in the sink and continuing to tidy, stepping around a flabbergasted Regina.

"I suppose" Regina sputtered softly.

An uncomfortable silence spread over the room like a thick fog. What had Regina done now? She knew that all she wanted to do was be friends with this woman. Watching her move around her kitchen, Regina could feel the anger that always seemed to simmer at the base of her breath dissipate. She was so comfortable, and yet so terrified.

Emma would tear apart her happy ending. She came to Storybrooke to fix everything by exposing her, breaking her course and tearing everything, including the evil queen, to the ground.

But it seemed that so far, all Emma had done was start putting together all of Regina's damaged pieces. And Regina was certain that if she didn't stop what was happening now, that she would lose Henry, Emma, and the life she had built all in the same moment— and she didn't know if she would be able to come back from that, evil or not.


End file.
